


Always By Your Side

by Moonliel



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: ? - Freeform, Boys Kissing, Complete, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Matchmaking, love these boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-13 08:05:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9114301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonliel/pseuds/Moonliel
Summary: Natsume realizes that he can't keep pushing people away, and there may be a particular person he wants to drag closer [now complete]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> completed!

Knowing that Natsume can see youkai and actually being in his presence while they are around are two completely different things. Tanuma often wondered if he was better off not knowing – but that thought left him as quickly as it came. He is thankful that Natsume had confided in him. Although it worries him when he runs off or yells out “Leave me alone!”, Tanuma is still happy to know that he can help his friend in a way that no one else could.

  
After finding out that Taki also knew Natsume’s secret, Tanuma was slightly jealous. It was like pulling teeth getting information out of Natsume, and here was this girl who he suddenly just poured out all his secrets to? It was like a slap in the face.

  
He had known Natsume first and it was still difficult to get any information out of him. Even Ponta, err.., Sensei had revealed himself – Natsume didn’t trust him enough to let him know. It was hard finding out, thinking that Natsume didn’t trust him with such a small secret. And even now Tanuma knows that there are even more secrets that Natsume won’t reveal.

  
But that jealously over Taki had slowly ebbed away. Now he had someone who he could share his worries over Natsume with. He and Taki had an unvoiced understanding between them that they would do anything to help Natsume and let him know that they are right there for him.   
Slowly Natsume started opening up and asking for help and it was a welcomed relief. It allows Tanuma a chance to lift some of the burden off of his friend.

  
When Natsume had lost the picture of his parents in the forest and proceeded to lie about it, it really angered Tanuma. It was so sad to see his friend try to hide away his pain and think that his needs and wants meant nothing. He didn’t want to make his friends worry for him and it was frustrating to see.

  
What good was he as a friend if he could not even help him with such a simple thing?

  
They had talked about it afterwards. Natsume explained part of his home life as he was shuffled from place to place. The story was sad and Tanuma can admit that he felt some pity for his friend, but Natsume talked about his past so candidly and without much feeling. Tanuma could tell that his friend was suppressing the sadness and loneliness those memories brought.

  
Natsume stayed over that night after their conversation. They stayed in the same room, along with Sensei, their futons close on the floor.

  
In the middle of the night Tanuma swore he heard Natsume crying. He could hear his friend suppressing the cries that it was even more heart-wrenching than if he had cried aloud. It was as if he was so used to hiding his thoughts and pain that he was ashamed to show how sad he was.  
Tanuma didn’t say anything, but he simply reached over to Natsume’s futon, lifted the blanket and shuffled up behind him. He felt Natsume tense and Sensei’s eyes on him. Without a word, he reached over and hugged Natsume’s back straight into his chest.

  
Natsume’s body was warm and skinny and his sharp elbows poked him, but soon Natsume calmed enough to relax into the hold.

  
Tanuma was surprised with himself. He was never a touchy-feely sort of guy, and especially with other guys, but there was just something about Natsume that made him want to protect his friend.

  
It took Natsume a long time to finally fall asleep again, but Tanuma decided to stay up all night in case his friend needed him. Curled behind Natsume, Tanuma was unable to avoid smelling Natsumes’ shampoo. It was cool and fresh, like a mountain spring.

  
Tanuma decided that he liked the feel of Natsume’s body in his arms, but he didn’t wish to dwell on why that was.

  
‘I’m just helping out a friend, that’s all,’ he told himself in his head.

  
\---

  
Tanuma woke up slowly, unaware that he had fallen asleep. As he blinked his eyes open he came face to face with Pon—Sensei’s giant head.

Tanuma flailed out of the futon with a muffled yelp. Once regaining himself, he could see the amusement in the cats’ eyes.

  
“About time you’re awake. Humans are so boring when they’re sleeping,” commented Sensei as he licked a paw.

  
“Where’s Natsume?” was the first thing out of Tanuma’s mouth. He had tried to stay awake for his friend, but the warmth and feel of another body had lulled him to sleep.

  
“He’ll be back soon,” said the cat, unhelpfully.

  
“If Natsume left,” and Tanuma tried to ignore the pang of hurt at that thought, “what are you still doing here?”

  
“Natsume wanted me to stay. He seemed to think that this was the only way to assure you that he was coming back.”

  
“Oh, uh ok. I’m glad he’ll be back,” said Tanuma as he started to get out of bed. Still dressed in pajamas he folded both futons and then tucked them away in the closest once done.

  
“What are your intentions toward Natsume?” asked Sensei, completely out of nowhere.

  
“Wha?!” yelped Tanuma, his face heating up.

  
“You both seemed pretty cozy last night. All snuggled up. Natsume actually fell right to sleep,” commented Sensei nonchalantly.

  
Tanuma could feel his face getting redder. He really wasn’t sure what to say. ‘His intentions?’ Natsume was a really good, close friend. That was all…

  
“I don’t know what you mean. I’m going to take a shower – please let Natsume know he’s welcome to anything in the fridge if he comes back before I’m out.” Tanuma tried to ignore the knowing look in the youkai’s eye as he made his way to the bathroom.

 

WIP - TBC maybe

and then my brain freezes and I lose my muse :(


	2. Continuation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is no longer a WIP - it will stay on this list until this list is finished :)

Once in the shower Tanuma tried to force the blush away from his cheeks. He had no idea what Ponta was trying to imply, but the mere thought that he had ulterior intentions toward Natsume caused his heart to beat faster.

As he lathered his body with soap Tanuma let his mind wander. He wasn't sure how he was going to face Natsume after what he had done yesterday. What guys just hold each other like that? Should he even bring it up, or just let it slip away as if it never happened?

He furiously scrubbed his hair, hoping that it would somehow help him come up with a solution. Tanuma tried to force the thoughts of Natsume's warm body against him out of his mind - how the other teen just seemed to fit perfectly in his arms.

Having Natsume so close helped calm him down. He knew where Natsume was and he didn't have to worry that he had gotten mixed up in some other youkai business. It was nice having Natsume so close and he then started to wonder why he hadn't held him sooner.

Finishing up his shower, Tanuma just wrapped a towel around his waist and threw a smaller one over his shoulders. He had forgotten to get a change of clothes before he went to the bathroom in in his haste to get away from Ponta's inquisitive stare.

* * *

 

"Oh, Natsume, you're back," cheerfully greeted Tanuma as he opened his bedroom door to find Natsume and Ponta-sensei arguing about something.

"Yeah, sorry...about….that…" quietly trailed off Natsume as he took in the sight before him.

This wasn't the first time he had seen Tanuma shirtless, it just happened to be the first time he had seen Tanuma shirtless, dripping wet, after they had spent the night curled into each other. Natsume could feel his face heat up as his eyes took in the sight before him. Droplets of water made their way down Tanuma's neck, swirling lightly down his chest, over sharp hipbones and finally onto the towel at Tanuma's waist.

"You're going to catch flies like that, Natsume," said Sensei cheekily.

A heated flush took over Natsume's face as he turned back to the pig cat and yelled, "Sensei!"

Tanuma could feel his own face grow red in embarrassment too. "Um, I just came to get a change of clothes," said Tanuma cautiously as he entered the room.

"We'll get out of your way then," said Natsume hastily as he rushed out of the room. In his rush he bumped into Tanuma, his shoulder hitting warm flesh. The bump happened to dislodge the towel at his waist and Tanuma scrambled to hold onto it.

"I'm sorry!" shouted Natsume as his pale face turned crimson. He hurried out of the room and threw himself onto the dining room floor.

He laid down, cradled his face in his hands, and let out a loud groan.

"You humans are so funny and oblivious," chuckled Sensei as he searched for something to eat.

"Be quiet, Sensei," said Natsume behind his hands.

* * *

 

Tanuma could feel his heart thudding wildly in his chest. He had no idea what was happening but he knew that it had to do with Natsume. When Natsume's face turned pink he had the sudden urge to go over and hug him. The sight was just too endearing.

Tanuma shook his head as if to dislodge the thoughts. He grabbed his clothes and changed quickly, not wanting to give Natsume the time to run away.

He didn't know what was happening between them but he did know he wanted to see where it went. Tanuma knew that Natsume was worried about people getting too close - worried that they would get hurt because of him or just would not like him anymore, but Tanuma could safely say he would never abandon Natsume.

Without thinking he kept getting between Natsume and the youkai. He didn't want anything to happen to Natsume and he knew that Natsume would always try to protect him too. It was almost funny how overprotective they both were of each other.

The more time he spent around Natsume the more he wanted to get to know him. He had a feeling that aside from Ponta-sensei he was the one most privy to his past and experiences. Tanuma knew there were many things Natsume hid from him, but he was okay with that. As long as Natsume knew that he could count on him then that was all he wanted. Tanuma wanted Natsume to know that he shouldn't be afraid to lean on others and that he shouldn't expect everyone to leave him once things became too dangerous or too weird.

He exited his room in search of Natsume.

* * *

 

"Sensei...what should I do?" muttered Natsume as he stared at the ceiling.

"About what?" replied the youkai as it munched on a snack.

"..."

"Oh, do you mean about how you want to kiss Tanuma?" slyly said Madara.

Natsume shot up with a glare in his eyes and a flush on his cheeks.

"Sensei!" he hissed as he lept up to catch the fat cat.

Madara just laughed as he leapt around the room. "What, are you mad that I guessed right?"

Natsume lost all his energy then flopped back onto the floor.

He groaned out again in confusion. "Yes… I just… he's my friend, probably my best friend. I don't want to ruin that. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better for him if he never knew about the youkai."

At that Madara's eyes opened fully as he took in the boy in front of him. Sometimes Natsume was just too naive for his own good.

"You're an idiot," intoned the cat in the wisest voice he could muster.

Natsume just stared, dumbfoundedly.

"Do you really think you would be happier if Tanuma knew nothing about you?"

"I'm not asking about my happiness, I'm asking about his."

"Okay, well do you really think he would be happier to not know you?"

"He would be safer."

"That's not what I asked."

Natsume stayed silent for a while, thinking.

"I think… I think he might be the only one aside from Sensei to stand beside me," said Natsume with a smile, the revelation taking him by surprise.

The door opened at that moment, Tanuma walking into the room.

"Didn't get to say this earlier, but good morning."

"Good morning," muttered Natsume as he looked away quickly - the images of a half-naked Tanuma at the forefront of his mind all of a sudden.

"Are you hungry? I can make something simple," asked Tanuma, trying to ignore the awkwardness that hung around them.

"Oh that's okay, I should probably be heading back home soon."

Madara let out an exasperated huff. "Natsume~ feed me."

"Sensei!" hissed Natsume, embarrassed for the fur ball.

Tanuma just let out a little chuckle. "It won't be a problem to prepare something, beside Touko-san knows where you are so she won't be worried."

Natsume did not stand a chance against both Sensei and Tanuma.

"Ok, breakfast sounds good," he said with a small smile.

* * *

 

"Where did you go this morning?" asked Tanuma as he began clearing away their dishes.

"Oh," Natsume wracked his brain for an explanation. Tanuma probably thought it was youkai related but in reality he just needed to escape the warm comfort that came from being in Tanuma's arms all night.

"Just went around the building - didn't travel to far."

"Did you sense something?" Tanuma asked casually, but he was ready to spring into action in any second if something was disturbing Natsume.

"Nothing like that, just needed some air."

Tanuma wasn't sure if he should be relieved or worried with that reply.

The silence dragged on, neither boy sure of what else to say.

"Do you want -"

"I guess I should -"

Both had started talking at the same time. They looked at each other and laughed. Just like that the heavy atmosphere dissipated.

"You first," said Natsume.

"I was just going to ask if you wanted to spend the night again? We don't have school tomorrow and we could just hang out all day."

"Oh." Natsume wasn't too sure how to reply to that. On one hand he really wanted to spend time with Tanuma. They rarely had time to themselves since Kitamoto and Nishimura were usually around. On the other hand after what happened last night and his new revelation he felt as if he needed some time to decompress and just get his thoughts in order.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," said Tanuma, a bit disappointed. He wanted to spend more time with Natsume, to get to know him outside of youkai and school. "We usually don't get time to ourselves," he tacked on.

Hearing his thoughts said aloud seemed to cinch Natsume's decision.

"No, I mean, yes I would love to sleep over again," he replied. Love? Why had he said the "L" word!

"Great! There's this music store I've been meaning to visit, would you like to come?"

"Sure."

* * *

 

They left the music store, Tanuma's new CD swinging lightly between them as they walked.

"There sure seemed to be a lot of Natori-san posters in there," commented Tanuma.

"Glad we didn't get mobbed by his fans," chuckled out Natsume. "Do you want to get something to eat?"

"Udon udon udon," chanted Madara as he walked in front of them, leading the way to his favorite udon restaurant.

"I guess udon it is," replied Tanuma weakly. Natsume just shook his head in embarrassment.

* * *

 

It was nice spending time with Tanuma. Natsume almost wished the day would never end. Most of the day was spent walking around outdoors as they chatted about school, music, and other interests they shared. After lunch they started their walk back toward Tanuma's house but neither boy was ready to head back entirely. They veered off the path and walked further into the woods.

Natsume tried his best to not make eye contact with the youkai that wandered around, but it was getting harder and harder the deeper they went.

"Sure are a lot of weaklings," muttered Madara as he walked ahead of the two boys.

"Youkai?" asked Tanuma. At this point he wasn't even sure why he was surprised at all. He knew that youkai were everywhere, especially in forests and around Natsume.

"Yeah, but they're harmless so it's okay," reassured Natsume.

Just as he spoke a gust of wind stirred behind them wildly. Swirls of leaves danced in the air as they raced toward the two teens.

"Give me the book of friends!" a deep voice intoned as it drew nearer. Natsume stopped walking and started to glance around wildly.

Before he could even see the youkai Tanuma was lifted by a powerful gust of wind.

"Tanuma!" yelled out Natsume helplessly as he stared at his friend being taken away.

"Natsume!" yelled out Tanuma, his voice growing fainter from the distance that now separated them.

A voice caressed his ears. "Give me the book and no harm shall come to your boyfriend, Natsume Reiko…"

"Reiko was my grandmother, and you bring my friend back this instant!"

"You'll never see him again if you don't give me THE BOOK!" the voice snarled.

"Natsume, hop on!"

Madara had changed into his more powerful youkai form. Natsume quickly climbed on and held onto the fur tightly. They sprung into the air, Natsume desperately looking for any sign of Tanuma.

"There he is, Sensei," shouted Natsume as he pointed to a lone figure helplessly being tugged by an invisible force.

The pair dropped down, Madara, using his his sheer size, lowered them in front of the invisible wind. The youkai, having their path blocked, forced its way upward.

"Tanuma!" shouted Natsume as he reached, trying to grab onto any part of Tanuma.

"Natsume!" Tanuma shouted back as he extended a free arm, grasping firmly onto Natsume's outstretched hand. With strength he didn't know he possessed, Natsume yanked Tanuma free and onto Madara's back.

"Sensei, now!"

A blue light engulfed the area, the youkai screeching in terror as it was overpowered by Madara's spiritual energy, its remnants scattering into the wind from whence it came.

Madara figured that was enough adventure for one day, and from the way Natsume was clinging onto his fur it told him that it was enough for Natsume too.

The great beast flew toward Tanuma's house, the priests' spiritual energy and muttered mantras keeping the area safe from even the lesser youkai.

On the way there Tanuma clung tightly to Natsume, his larger hands encompassing Natsume's waist as he lay his head between Natsume's shoulder blades.

Natsume turned his head to try and catch a glimpse of how Tanuma was faring, but the other boy had his eyes tightly shut, but slowly the adrenaline was seeping from his tightened muscles, relaxing now that the danger was over. Natsume clenched his teeth together, a furrow deep on his brow.

* * *

 

They made it back to Tanuma's home in no time at all. Both boys dismounted from Madara quietly once they landed - Madara changing back to his smaller form.

The silence was thick in the air, neither boy really sure on what should be said.

On one hand Tanuma was terrified - not just because of what happened and of the danger he had been in, but because he knew what this was going to do to his relationship with Natsume. He knew the other teen well enough that Natsume was going to retreat into himself, was going to justify to himself why it was better to be alone than to get involved with someone else. That was the last thing that Tanuma wanted him to think and there was no way he was letting Natsume get away from him after everything. He didn't want Natsume to become the secluded shell he was when they had first met.

Natsume himself was panicking, his heart still racing in his chest. He couldn't believe just how close he had come to losing Tanuma - to losing someone so close and so precious to him. This was why he had tried to stay alone and away from people, no matter how much he craved companionship. It was one thing to be friends with Natori since the man was an exorcist and could protect himself, but Tanuma was susceptible to spirits, often causing him headaches and who knows what else. Today just proved to Natsume that he was better off alone - that it was better to not endanger anyone.

Tanuma could see the emotions playing of Natsume's face and was pretty sure what he was thinking prior had come to pass. He moved forward, and with more force than he intended, he grasped tightly onto Natsume's arms, forcing the boy to look at him.

"It was not your fault, Natsume," Tanuma said clearly, hoping the other boy believed him.

"Tanuma…" Natsume replied softly, his eyes already growing dark.

"It wasn't, okay? And I don't want you to think that," Tanuma added on desperately.

"Tanuma… I'm glad you're okay, but I really should be going back home."

Tanuma could feel his chest tighten. Is this what heartbreak felt like?

He looked into Natsume's face and the broken expression on his face felt like a punch to the gut. He couldn't leave things like this - if he did, who knew what crazy ideas Natsume would be getting in his head.

"Look, I'm okay. Nothing happened to me and nothing is going to happen to me."

"I'm glad you're okay, but I really must be heading home," said Natsume as he looked away from Tanuma's eyes.

Tanuma could feel Natsume slipping even further away from him and in his haste he dragged the other boy and tucked him under his chin, his arms encompassing Natsume.

"What? Tanuma!"

"Natsume," whispered Tanuma into Natsume's hair, "please don't shut me out."

Natsume could feel his face growing red, his embarrassment overtaking his fear for a moment.

"Tanuma…" mumbled Natsume against the Tanuma's neck.

Tanuma almost accidentally shoved Natsume away from him. Feeling his warm breath upon his neck was just too much, but he persevered. If he let Natsume walk away from him without resolving this first it would always be there between them.

Natsume didn't know what to feel at the moment. He was so conflicted. He wanted to push Tanuma away in order to protect him, but another part of him just couldn't bear to let him go.

The image of Tanuma being dragged away from him - Natsume being helpless and unable to protect his friend - it was just too much.

Natsume forcefully removed himself from Tanuma's arms. He was just too frightened and didn't want his friend to get hurt because of him. There had already been too many instances where it had happened and each time Natsume told himself that he would never put Tanuma through that danger again, yet here he was again, getting Tanuma involved in his troubles with youkai. The worst part was that Natsume hadn't even told Tanuma about the book of friends and he felt even worse for it. Tanuma was blindly put in danger by him and it wasn't fair.

"Natsume…" trailed off Tanuma, unsure of what else he could say. He reached out again to hold onto Natsume's shoulder, but Natsume flinched so hard he took a step back.

"Tanuma, please… I just don't want to see you get hurt."

"Natsume…. That's my choice to make."

Natsume could feel irrational fear and anger overtake him. "No it's not! It's not fair for you to get hurt because of me!" he shouted as he wrapped his arms around himself to protect him from Tanuma's kindness.

"I think I can choose who I want to protect," muttered Tanuma. He knew this was going to happen but he didn't expect Natsume to react this badly.

Natsume could feel his fear getting stronger. Here was his most precious friend getting into danger because of him and confessing that he would do so again and again simply because he wanted to protect Natsume. It was just too much.

"I can't lose you, Tanuma!" shouted Natsume as he lunged and gripped Tanuma tightly into a hug. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes, his emotions getting the best of him. "I can't lose you," he muttered again, his voice broken.

Tanuma was so surprised. He had never witnessed Natsume be this emotional. He held onto his friend tightly, tucking his face closer to him. Tanuma could feel a wetness on his shirt and just knew his friend was crying.

"Natsume… I'll be here as long as you want me. I'll never leave your side," whispered Tanuma into Natsume's ear.

"You can't promise that. What if something happens to you? I could never forgive myself."

"That goes both ways. I could never forgive myself if something happened to you and I could have helped. I know I'm not strong, but I want to be able to help you in any way I can. Please don't push me away or shut me out."

"Tanuma…" mumbled Natsume, not sure what else he could say or do to convince his friend to stop getting involved with him. Suddenly he was so tired, the fight with the youkai and his rampant emotions took more out of him than he thought.

"I should head home."

Tanuma, flustered with the sudden announcement and change in atmosphere, grasped at straws. "But you promised you'd sleep over!"

Natsume looked at Tanuma in shock, surprised at Tanuma's sudden outburst.

"Yes, let's stay here, Natsume," spoke up Madara. Both boys flinched - they had forgotten the youkai was even there.

"Sensei!"

"What?"

Natsume looked away. "Nothing. I suppose we can stay."

Tanuma took that as a win. "Let's go inside then," he said as he took Natsume's hand. It was done so naturally that neither boy even noticed they were holding hands until they were trying to take their shoes off.

They broke apart, blushes on both their faces. They took off their shoes silently and walked into the house.

"Would you like some tea?" asked Tanuma. Natsume nodded. "You can wait in the bedroom," said Tanuma as he turned to the kitchen.

Natsume turned and walked silently to Tanuma's room. Once there he busied himself with laying out his futon for the night.

"Natsume," began Madara.

"What is it, Sensei?"

"What are you trying to do?"

"I don't know what you mean, Sensei. I'm just laying out the futon for the night since apparently we're sleeping over again," Natsume answered, somewhat bitterly.

"I can see that. I meant, what are you doing with the wimpy boy?"

"The wimp- Tanuma is not a wimp!"

Madara just let out small huff. "So then why do you want to get rid of him?"

"I don't! I mean, I'm not trying to get rid of him…" trailed off Natsume, knowing he really wasn't fooling anyone. "I just don't want him to get hurt."

"Is it because you still want to kiss him?" teased Madara. He leapt away as Natsume lunged at him.

"Sensei!" Natsume shouted, his face beet-red.

"Just do it already and get it over with. I'm sure he's as dumb as you are when it comes to feelings."

"How are you suddenly an expert in romance?" teased Natsume, his spirits lifted from Sensei's teasing.

"I've always been this knowledgeable, you just never needed my expertise on this before."

"Sure, sure," huffed out Natsume with a smile on his face.

"Knowledge in what?" asked Tanuma as he made his way into the room. Natsume could feel his face repressing a flush.

"Nothing!" - "Romance," both Natsume and Madara replied at the same time.

Tanuma's own face took on a gentle blush. "Ah..I see. Romance."

"Thanks for the tea, Tanuma," said Natsume, trying to diffuse the conversation.

"Of course, no problem."

"What snacks did you bring?"

Natsume just groaned. His sensei only thought about food. "And where's the sake?"

"You really think my dad has sake lying around?"

"Every adult has sake," countered Madara as he huffed and walked out of the room.

"Don't break anything, Sensei!" called out Natsume as Madara's form wobbled out of view.

Both boys drank their tea in silence, not too sure what they should talk about.

"Natsume, about before, I know that you are only trying to protect me. I just want you to know that pushing me away is not the best way to accomplish that. I'll always worry about you and I'll always want to help you," Tanuma confessed.

Natsume felt guilty. If it was the other way around and Tanuma was the one that got into trouble with youkai he would like to be entrusted with the information to better help his friend too.

"I'm sorry. I promise I'll try to not push you away," Natsume responded. It wasn't until now that he realized just how unfair he was being. First he still hadn't told Tanuma about the book of friends and now he had been expecting his friend to just let him run away. He was glad he had such a good friend as Tanuma - a friend who wouldn't give up on him no matter how much he was ready to give up on himself.

"We should probably go to sleep. It's been a long day," suggested Tanuma. Their earlier dinner of udon still sitting heavily in his stomach. Natsume could feel his energy drained more than usual due to his emotional outbursts.

"Yeah, sleep sounds like a good idea."

"Here, let me take your mug back," offered Tanuma as he stood.

Natsume followed him out of the room and went to the restroom to get ready for the night. He brushed his teeth and changed into his pajamas. While in the restroom he couldn't help but think about Tanuma and how the taller boy had held him in his arms the night before.

It had been so unexpected that Natsume almost flinched when he felt Tanuma sidle up behind him. Yet once he felt Tanuma's warmth seep into him he could only let it lull him to sleep.

It had been a while that he has had these feelings toward his friend. He knew that he cared for Tanuma very much, much more than his other friends. Tanuma knew more about him than any other person - he knew the harsh details of his childhood. He knew about the lonely nights, the unhappiness, the scared little boy that no one believed. It was true that Tanuma didn't know everything that happened to him with youkai and that Natori-san was more privy to that side of his life, but it was his childhood that he felt was more intimate.

Tanuma was so easy to talk to, so understanding and friendly. Tanuma never pushed him to reveal more than he felt comfortable with, but knew when to nudge some more information out that Natsume was reluctant to share. Soon the feelings of companionship grew and Natsume found himself attracted more to Tanuma than just his listening ear.

Tanuma's easy smile, his laughter, his worried eyes - all of it drew Natsume in. Soon they found themselves spending more time together, although Kitamoto and Nishimura were there too. They had their own separate, quiet moments together where they could just talk and be themselves.

After each time Tanuma was dragged into his youkai conflicts, Natsume was always worried that Tanuma would leave him - would not want to be his friend. However that never happened and soon Natsume grew to depend on Tanuma - began to reveal more about himself than before and when Tanuma didn't become disgusted with him or started to ignore him, he began to let himself feel more than just friendship for Tanuma.

He admired his friends' strengths and soon started to admire his looks more. He could tell that if he wanted to be, Tanuma could be really popular with the girls at school. It just happened that Tanuma was a bit of dunce when it came to the affections of the female population, but Natsume knew he wasn't one to say anything - he was probably the same way.

Enough with reminiscing, Natsume left the restroom so Tanuma could finish getting ready. He made his way back to the bedroom. Tanuma had gotten the other futon out and had changed into some pajamas. "Sensei isn't back yet?" asked Natsume as he entered the room.

"No, but I did hear him moving around the house," replied Tanuma. "I'll be right back."

Natsume just nodded to his friend and got into bed. He was a bit disappointed to see the second futon laid out, but another part of his was relieved.

"Natsume!" yelled Sensei as he trudged into the room, rolling a bottle of sake before him, "open this bottle for me."

"Sensei! You shouldn't be drinking Tanuma-san's sake - Kaname-kun is going to get in trouble."

"If you won't open it, I will," said Sensei as he rolled the bottle closer to the futons and tried to claw it open.

"Don't!" exclaimed Natsume, trying to keep his voice down. He lunged for the bottle but was too late. In their scuffle the cap opened and sake started spilling onto the futon.

They both froze after righting the bottle so more would not spill. Madara could feel a killer-intent coming from Natsume.

"Look what you did," hissed the teen.

"What I did? If you had just opened it this wouldn't have happened!" They started to fight one another.

"What's going on?" asked Tanuma as he entered the room. Both Natsume and Madara froze. Madara took his chance and ran out of the room at a speed that Natsume and Tanuma had never knew he could move in.

"Tanuma, I'm so sorry," said Natsume as he bowed. "I'll clean it right up."

It was only then that Tanuma noticed the spilled sake and the wet spot on his futon. He rubbed the back of his head in exasperation but nothing could be done about it now.

"Lets just take it to the laundry room. It's too late now to deal with it." Both boys dragged the futon and left it by the washer. They walked silently back to Tanuma's room.

"Do you mind if we share a futon?" asked Tanuma shyly. He didn't want to admit that he was somewhat looking forward to it.

"I can go back home…" trailed off Natsume. Truth be told, he would rather spend the night with Tanuma, and it had already gotten late. He didn't want to wake the Fujiwaras.

"Do you not want to sleep with me that badly?" replied Tanuma, a bit saddened. It wasn't until the words were out of his mouth that he realized the double meaning they had. His face started blushing but he resolutely looked at Natsume. Natsume's own face took on a rosy hue but he didn't say anything. Instead he walked over to the futon, laid inside it and covered his face with the comforter. Tanuma didn't really know what else to say either and so just turned off the light and crawled into the futon next to Natsume.

"Tanuma," whispered Natsume, "that was really embarrassing."

Tanuma let out a surprised chuckle. "I know, I'm sorry. I regret ever saying it."

Natsume could not stop the laughter that bubbled out of him and soon both boys were laughing at how dumb it all seemed.

"Let's just go to sleep," said Tanuma, preparing to turn around.

"Tanuma," began Natsume. Once he had Tanuma's full attention did he continued. "Do you think you could hold me like you did last night?" he asked with a blush on his face.

Tanuma searched Natsume's face, trying to glean a sliver of intent. He could feel his heart pounding the more he looked at Natsume. His sharp, golden eyes, his flaxen hair, the slight blush on his cheeks - it was just too tempting.

Tanuma raised his hand and smoothed the bangs away from Natsume's forehead. Instead of removing his hand though, he cupped Natsume's cheek and pulled Natsume closer to him.

"Is this okay?" Tanuma whispered, as if trying to speak to a wild animal. He hoped he wasn't reading this wrong. He would sometimes catch Natsume glancing at him, his lingering stare leaving a burning warmth on his back. He himself had fantasized about doing this for some time but he didn't want to ruin their friendship. He hoped that he hadn't read the signs wrong. Tanuma wasn't usually good at things like this.

Natsume stayed silent. He could feel his heart stop in his chest but then it started beating wildly. He was so close to Tanuma he could almost count his eyelashes.

"Yes," he answered in his own shy whisper. That was all the answer Tanuma needed as he closed his eyes and leaned forward, pressing his lips against Natsume's'.

The kiss was sweet and chaste. They separated seconds after it happened, each sporting a flush on their face as they stared at each other intently. Tanuma could feel a smile break out on his face and Natsume soon mirrored him. They let out embarrassed chuckles as they leaned forward once again and shared a second kiss that was less hesitant than the one before. It was warm and heady and they each needed to take a breath once they separated. They didn't speak, letting their eyes communicate for them. They could both read the trust and care they had for one another. 

They were about to lean forward again for another kiss when the door to the bedroom was opened with such force that they heard the wooden door smack against the wall.

"Natsume~ you need to buy me sake this delicious!" intoned Madara as he drunkenly stumbled into the room.

"Ora ~ what's this? Did I disturb your mating?" slyly asked the cat, now suddenly more sober than when he entered.

"Sensei!" huffed Natsume, embarrassed beyond belief.

"I guess you finally got that kiss you've been wanting."

Natsume just covered his face with his hands and groaned aloud. "Sensei, please shut up," he mumbled behind his hands.

Tanuma was just in shock and really had no idea what to do.

"I guess I'll leave you two lovebirds alone," said Madara as he laughed his way out of the room again.

The silence in the room was almost stifling.

"So… you wanted to kiss me for a while?" teased Tanuma, flattered to know that he wasn't the only one who wanted his friend.

"Yes...please don't hate me."

Tanuma moved Natsume's hands away from the flaxen-haired teen's face. "I don't think I could ever hate you. Besides, I think it's cute," he chuckled as he leaned in and stole a quick peck at Natsume's lips.

Natsume's eyes widened in surprise, but then he felt calm once he realized that Tanuma wasn't going to kick him out of the house.

"Don't call me cute," he replied with a pout, then leaned over and stole his own kiss.

They broke apart and smiled at one another.

"We should sleep now, I suppose," said Tanuma.

"Yeah, replied Natsume as he turned around, his back facing Tanuma. Without prompting, Tanuma wrapped his arms around Natsume's waist and brought the teen flush against his chest.

"Good night," whispered Natsume.

"Good night," replied Tanuma as he kissed the back of Natsume's neck.

They rested quietly, waiting for sleep to take them.

It was when he was just about to fall asleep that Natsume snapped his eyes open.

"Tanuma! I think Sensei drank all your dad's sake!"

Tanuma just groaned. 

"Ugh...later - we can sort it out later."  He would deal with that in the morning.

Natsume smiled to himself and snuggled deeper into Tanuma's arms.

Yeah they could sort it out later.

_Together._

 


End file.
